


dream a little dream of me

by treefood



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, Internalized Guilt, Julian/Asra if you squint, M/M, MC/Julian - Freeform, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Plague, Pre-Canon, Red Plague (The Arcana)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/treefood/pseuds/treefood
Summary: Julian was quiet, staring at Asra through his beaked mask for a moment, that familiar lump in his throat forming again. This was all too much. Every single bit of it. He shouldn’t have opened his mouth, he shouldn’t have said anything to Asra. He continued to write his notes on the observations he had made that day, trying hard to keep his calm. The energy in the room was awful and thick like a fog or a heavy blanket.“I should probably go.” Julian choked out.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	dream a little dream of me

**Author's Note:**

> hello the arcana fandom!! im laurent and i like to cause myself and others pain by writing exclusively angst. enjoy!

“Will you be back tomorrow?” He asked as Julian packs up his medical supplies. Julian glances over his shoulder then continues to messily shove different medicines and herbs into his bag.

“Of course I will, darling, where else would I be?”

“Oh, I don’t know… I couldn’t blame anyone for not wanting to be around me.”

“Well, I’m not just hanging around you to hang around.” Julian said, brushing some hair from his face. “I’m here because I love you and we’re going to figure this out together. We… _I’m_ going to fix this.”

He smiled and leaned up weakly, pressing his forehead gently to Julian’s. He was hot, more than likely feverish. Julian was sure this small room wasn’t helping in the slightest. And the poor thing had been cooped up in it most days. Julian didn’t want him dealing with other doctor’s prying and poking in, so Julian made him his private case in a private room where no one was to bother him. And, thus far, no one had. 

“Do you need any herbs before I go? Any elixirs?”

“No.”

“Are you burning? How are you feeling?”

“I feel fine, Julian, really.” He reached up, gently cradling Julian’s cheek. Julian nuzzled his hand, pressing a quick kiss to the palm. “Go home, go rest.”

“I just hate to leave.” Julian says. “My nights are restless without you, lover.”

“Alright, Socrates, go home. Seriously. I’ll be here by morning.” 

A wave of panic washed over Julian and suddenly he didn’t want to leave. He could spend one night in a sick cell. It wouldn’t be a big deal. He would sleep on the floor and hold his hand and if he woke up in the night, Julian would be right there with medicines and herbs and comfort. But he knew he wouldn’t allow that. No, he was too worried about Julian to let him stay the night there. It wasn’t like he could really do anything to stop him. At this point, he was too weak. But he could roll onto his side and ignore Julian until morning. That wouldn’t be fun. But, then again, none of this was. 

“You promise?” Julian asked childishly.

“I swear. I’m not going anywhere unless it’s with you.”

“You’re precious.” He said, though his heart was aching. 

Slowly, he stood and walked back over to the desk where his bag sat. He picked up his mask and clasped it on. If any of the other doctors knew the Julian was in here without a mask, he would be quarantined in an instant. But he wasn’t going to just sit here and treat him like another patient. Julian couldn’t bare to. It would be too cold. So he didn’t. He was sure it wasn’t good for his health, but he didn’t mind. He just wanted to make everything right again.

He closed his bad and picked it up with one hand, then picked up a stack of books with the other. He turned to the other man on the bed. He looked paler and weaker with each passing day. The vibrant, cunning young man that Julian once knew was fading (fast) into something else. He was going to fix this. He had to fix this.

“I’ll see you bright and early, my love.” Julian said, taking a second to inhale the herbs in the beak of his mask.

“I’ll see you in the morning. Dream of me?”

“I always do.”

Julain stepped out of the small cell and shut the wooden door behind it, taking a second to set his bag down and locking the door. He _really_ couldn’t afford another doctor stumbling in on him. Who knows what would happen then. He picked up his bag again, the familiar lump in his throat forming as he left. He was more than happy to see the setting sun as he did. A pleasant, momentary distraction from everything that was going on down below.

He walked the roads quietly watching through his mask as people dodged him like the literal plague he represented. He couldn’t blame them. In this day and age, doctors like him were widely regarded as a bad omen and reasonably so. If the situations were reversed, Julian wouldn’t want to be the one seeing a plague doctor walk towards him. 

He continued down back roads of back roads until he managed to sneak around most traffic and find himself at the back door of Asra’s shop. He knocked once, then waited. When no one answered, he knocked again. He wasn’t going to go through the front right now. If they saw a plague doctor entering Asra’s shop, it would be bad for business. Julian couldn’t do that to him. So he stood at the back door and knocked until the door finally flew open. Asra looked at him, hair sticking up in every direction, eyes tired. He must have just woken up.

“Don’t tell me you slept all day.” Julian said as he stepped into the shop.

“No, I was just disturbed from a very pleasant nap is all.”

“Haven’t been sleeping well?” Julian asked, setting his stuff on the table.

“Don’t play dumb, you know I haven’t been.”

“Very true.”

“And neither have you.”

“Also, very true.” Julian nodded.

Asra crossed his arms over his chest, walking over towards the fireplace to warm himself. There was a large cauldron over it, leading Julian to believe he may have been cooking up something. Now, whether it was stew or potions Julian could never tell. He sat down at the table, picking up one of his books and flipping to a page. He opened his bag, shuffling around in it for a few minutes before he sighed.

“What’re you looking for?”

“A quill. I must’ve left mine…” 

Asra plucked one from a nearby glass and tossed it over to Julian before finding an inkwell from seemingly nowhere. Magicians. Some of the strangest folk Julian had met. Asra sat the inkwell down on the table then sat across from him as Julian dipped the quill and frantically started writing. Asra watched, tiredly, blinking his purple eyes before he finally addressed the elephant in the room.

“How is he?”

“Mm…” Julian sighed. “Mentally, better today. He had his barings about him, he could identify his symptoms, and he was willing to work with me. But, he looks awful.”

“I can imagine.” Asra nodded bitterly.

“He’s so pale… So, so pale. And he’s nothing but bone. He eats, but he can barely keep anything down. He can keep down water and sometimes bread, but that’s about it.”

“What have you been feeding him?”

Julian looked up at him, a tick of defensiveness rising up in him like a flame. He took a second to inhale, calm himself down. Asra didn’t mean it like that. It was just a question. Nothing more, nothing less.

“Well, Mazelinka has been making different stews and soups. Usually something hearty, beef stew or some other meat stew. On days when he’s not feeling as well, she sends broths and things of the sort. “  
“Good, good. I can send him with something tomorrow if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all. I’ll stop by on my way.”

They were silent again, the only noise the scratching of Julian’s quill and the crackling of the fire. Asra stood up, walking over to the cauldron. He pulled it off of the fire, glancing inside of it as if he also didn’t know its contents. Then, he walked over to his cupboard, pulling out different vegetables. Carrots and potatoes, an unidentified broth in a jar, some different spices. Then, he walked over to a shelf and started pulling off potions. Julian looked over at him.

“You’re not putting that in the stew, are you?”

“Why not?”

“You don’t want to make him ill. His immune system can’t handle it right now.”

“What makes you think it’ll make him ill? I think I know my apprentice better than you know your patient.” 

“Asra, _don’t._ ” Julian said lowly.

“Then let me do what I’m doing.”

Julian rolled his eyes before he turned back to his note taking. He continued to look up at Asra, his thoughts racing at what he could possibly be putting in there. He trusted Asra, but he didn’t trust magic. He couldn’t even say he believed in it, let alone trusted it. He set his quill down, watching as Asra seemingly marinated each vegetable in some sort of potion. He could always take it in the morning and through it into the ocean or something. 

“Asra, I really don’t feel comfortable--”

“Julian, do you want my help or not?”

“I do, I just--”

“I don’t care! Either let me help or don’t!”

“I just don’t want potions in something that’s supposed to be a stew.” Julian said, trying to keep his calm.

“Can you be a little more accepting of what we do for a second? Just a second?”

“Asra--”

“No, this is what he and I do. This is our _lives_ Julian, this is what we do. Just leave it alone or open yourself to it for a second, can you do that? Can you do that for me? For _him?_ ”

Julian was quiet, staring at Asra through his beaked mask for a moment, that familiar lump in his throat forming again. This was all too much. Every single bit of it. He shouldn’t have opened his mouth, he shouldn’t have said anything to Asra. He continued to write his notes on the observations he had made that day, trying hard to keep his calm. The energy in the room was awful and thick like a fog or a heavy blanket.

“I should probably go.” Julian choked out.

“Don’t.” Asra said, not bothering to turn to him.

“No, really, I should go.”

Asra finally turned to him as Julian closed his book and put a cap on the inkwell. Asra sighed slowly, rolling his eyes. He couldn’t even count it as Julian being dramatic anymore, he was just that stressed. They all were. Asra set down the knife he had been chopping with then walked over to his dining table.

“Take the mask off.” Asra said.

“No.” Julian replied indignantly. 

“Take the mask off, _please_ , Ilya.” 

They were both still for a moment before Julian reached up for the clasp beneath his curly hair. He slowly removed the mask, the scent of Asra’s shopping washing over him. It was a comforting smell, like sage and incense. Julian used to hate it but as he spent more time with the two magicians, he came to enjoy it more and more. He tried not to cause attention to the tears rolling down his cheeks and dripping onto the cover of his notebook. Instead, he just looked at Asra. There was nothing for him to say, nothing for him to do. He just wanted to go home and try to sleep.

“Come here.” Asra said, voice soft. It was a softness Julian hadn’t heard that sort of softness since before all of this. So, he stood and slowly walked over to Asra, his head hung low, like a child who had been scolded. 

Asra reached up and wrapped his arms around the taller man. Julian bent a little, hugging him back and resting his face in the crook of Asra’s neck. It only took a second before Julian was weeping, clinging to Asra as if that was the only thing keeping him tethered to this world. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Julian wept.

“I know.”

“He’s so sick.”

“I know.”

“It’s all my fault. I should’ve helped sooner. He’s going to die soon, Asra.”

Asra went quiet and Julian could feel his hands tighten into fists around his coat. Julian hugged him tightly, he was a mess. Once the tears started, they couldn’t stop. So they stood there and Julian cried until he couldn’t stand anymore. Then they sat and Julian cried until Julian couldn’t sit anymore. Then, Asra dragged Julian upstairs to where he slept. They laid down on Asra’s bed as Julian cried into his chest and Asra stared at the wall. Hours later when Julian finally managed to calm himself down to quiet whimpering and Asra was running his fingers through curly red locks, he spoke.

“I can’t believe I let this happen.” Julian said quietly, sniffling.

“Ilya, there’s nothing you could have done to stop it.”

“I could have helped sooner.”

“There was no way you could have known.”

“The coughs, the chills, anything. I could have stopped this mess earlier.”

“You can’t focus on then.” Asra said as he combed through Julian’s hair. “You have to focus on now. _We_ have to focus on now. It’s the only way to make things right.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I know, Ilya.”

“I’m so, so tired.”

“I know, Ilya.”

**Author's Note:**

> hewwo,,, this was super fun to write,,, i want to write more the arcana soon buttttt... we'll see!!!  
> if yall liked this, please leave me some comments to read through!!! thank you !! <3


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